Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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