oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
