dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
