Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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