Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
