Whod you bang
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
