omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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