her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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