I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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