when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
