My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
