Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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