also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
