She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
