i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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