i wish there were pregnant emoticons
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
