I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
