Kiss
Puke
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I FOUND THE LEGS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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