so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
