i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just invented taco cereal.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
