i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
