Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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