More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize