i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
