Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
