We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
