i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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