8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize