If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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