dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
