woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
