he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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