All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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