i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
