tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you had me at cake vodka
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
