making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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