I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
