I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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