ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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