I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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