I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
