the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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