He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
