You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
