also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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