Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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