how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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