Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
