I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
