break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
