At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
