one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
