took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize