as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dignity is for republicans.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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