I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
