i just wanna soil my oats bro
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
