im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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