i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
