Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
