'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
