Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
