I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize