So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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