Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize