I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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